I rarely write a journal-style blog entry as I think that much of this type of blogging is unproductive and a waste of time for others to read. However, I was so overwhelmed by the glory of Christ this morning as I read 2 Peter 2, I thought that I should post the following thoughts.
As I read this text, I was struck by the severity of God’s judgment as I prayed through issues of my heart and the Spirit convicted me of sin. The more I think and pray through Exodus 20 and the far-reaching nature of the Law, I am truly driven to despair. I despair of my ability to fulfill God’s commandment to be perfect as He is perfect (Mt 5:48). This conviction was not just the realization of how I have recently transgressed God’s Law, but the conviction of the ugliness of my sin nature and the utter corruption deep within me. It made me utterly afraid that I would be counted among the false believers and adulterous peoples of this passage.
I felt as if I were teetering on the edge of hell itself and seeing the judgment of God that I so deserve because of my foolish flesh. In my hurried lifestyle, my initial response was to quickly say, “Yes, yes, but I am forgiven in Christ” and move on to thanking God for my adopted status as His child, but I chose to do something that was highly beneficial. I stayed there, in that state of conviction and despair, not moving my mind and heart from that point by flippantly dismissing what God was doing through this passage. I chose to stay there and fully (as fully as possible) experience the wrath of God until He Himself picked me up and confirmed me in Christ. I found myself utterly driven into the dust and crushed into nothingness in and of myself. This time of meditation was unbelievably humbling to my complete person as I experienced God’s wrath and He showed me the shallows of the depths of my wretched heart-I say shallows because I believe that as I progress in my faith, I will only see the depths of my sin more clearly. I allowed myself to stay here because I subjectively believed that I should do so rather than mentally claim forgiveness in Christ, thus allowing me to test my soul in all honesty to see if I am in the faith.
As I waited on the Lord to move, He did so through His word by flooding my heart with the glorious assurances of pardon as found in Scripture (Ephesians 2:8-9, Romans 8:1, and 1 Peter 2:24 were a few that came to mind) and the joy which flows from the peace that I have with this just and almighty God. Christ Himself brought me out of the gloomy pit of feeling and sensing His wrath into the green pasture of which He is the shepherd. He opened my soul to an enhanced view of the height and depth and breadth of God’s love for me in Christ Jesus.
The great assurance that can sum up all of Scriptural passages of pardon is that nothing can separate believers from God. Why? Not because of anything that we bring to this journey or even because we become more experienced in the Christian life. Anything associated with us would lead to a foolish re-enslavement of our souls and bodies to the lusts of our flesh so blatantly offered to us by our culture. We are inseparable from the Lord despite our remaining folly for His name’s sake. For His own glory, He will complete what He has begun in us. He would not be God if He could not graciously sanctify us and His name would be dishonored if He did not graciously sanctify us. He will not share His due glory with any person or thing, thus the humbling nature of the gospel. His jealousy for His sole reception of complete glory also extends to the gospel’s reshaping of our lives throughout the remainder of the Christian’s journey on this earth. How glorious is God that He will not share His glory and He will not leave His children to themselves before or after initially entrusting oneself to Christ alone for salvation.
Malachi 1:11-For from the rising of the sun to its setting my name will be great among the nations, and in every place incense will be offered to my name, and a pure offering. For my name will be great among the nations, says the LORD of hosts.
As I read this text, I was struck by the severity of God’s judgment as I prayed through issues of my heart and the Spirit convicted me of sin. The more I think and pray through Exodus 20 and the far-reaching nature of the Law, I am truly driven to despair. I despair of my ability to fulfill God’s commandment to be perfect as He is perfect (Mt 5:48). This conviction was not just the realization of how I have recently transgressed God’s Law, but the conviction of the ugliness of my sin nature and the utter corruption deep within me. It made me utterly afraid that I would be counted among the false believers and adulterous peoples of this passage.
I felt as if I were teetering on the edge of hell itself and seeing the judgment of God that I so deserve because of my foolish flesh. In my hurried lifestyle, my initial response was to quickly say, “Yes, yes, but I am forgiven in Christ” and move on to thanking God for my adopted status as His child, but I chose to do something that was highly beneficial. I stayed there, in that state of conviction and despair, not moving my mind and heart from that point by flippantly dismissing what God was doing through this passage. I chose to stay there and fully (as fully as possible) experience the wrath of God until He Himself picked me up and confirmed me in Christ. I found myself utterly driven into the dust and crushed into nothingness in and of myself. This time of meditation was unbelievably humbling to my complete person as I experienced God’s wrath and He showed me the shallows of the depths of my wretched heart-I say shallows because I believe that as I progress in my faith, I will only see the depths of my sin more clearly. I allowed myself to stay here because I subjectively believed that I should do so rather than mentally claim forgiveness in Christ, thus allowing me to test my soul in all honesty to see if I am in the faith.
As I waited on the Lord to move, He did so through His word by flooding my heart with the glorious assurances of pardon as found in Scripture (Ephesians 2:8-9, Romans 8:1, and 1 Peter 2:24 were a few that came to mind) and the joy which flows from the peace that I have with this just and almighty God. Christ Himself brought me out of the gloomy pit of feeling and sensing His wrath into the green pasture of which He is the shepherd. He opened my soul to an enhanced view of the height and depth and breadth of God’s love for me in Christ Jesus.
The great assurance that can sum up all of Scriptural passages of pardon is that nothing can separate believers from God. Why? Not because of anything that we bring to this journey or even because we become more experienced in the Christian life. Anything associated with us would lead to a foolish re-enslavement of our souls and bodies to the lusts of our flesh so blatantly offered to us by our culture. We are inseparable from the Lord despite our remaining folly for His name’s sake. For His own glory, He will complete what He has begun in us. He would not be God if He could not graciously sanctify us and His name would be dishonored if He did not graciously sanctify us. He will not share His due glory with any person or thing, thus the humbling nature of the gospel. His jealousy for His sole reception of complete glory also extends to the gospel’s reshaping of our lives throughout the remainder of the Christian’s journey on this earth. How glorious is God that He will not share His glory and He will not leave His children to themselves before or after initially entrusting oneself to Christ alone for salvation.
Malachi 1:11-For from the rising of the sun to its setting my name will be great among the nations, and in every place incense will be offered to my name, and a pure offering. For my name will be great among the nations, says the LORD of hosts.
Ryan,
Thank you for such a sincere reflection. I can only agree with you that as one grows and matures the numbed-out, desensitized shell of a person that only barely glimpsed the height of doom in God's judgment and only barely grasped the powerful promise of Christ's obedience and sacrifice has begun to actually sense and gain awareness of all that was at stake at the cross on my own behalf. May we grow in our gospel sensibilities that we might more fully mourn the sin within us and more rightly celebrate the debt and ransomed paid!